“DISEP: DEAD INTERNATIONAL STARRING EL PROFESSOR”
Episode 1: "Kitty Business"
By Fabrice Holbé
v1.6
jan, 4th. 2006

ACT I / 1 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

[SLOW TRAVELLING RIGHT TO LEFT:]

This is an old and dusty temple, rays of light come from cracks in the walls, huge spider web hang here and there. We can hear outside the jungle noise. We start to hear the scream of an angry person. The scream increases as the screamer is getting closer, fast.

Suddenly a part of the wall collapses in as Dolores passes through it. Dolores stops her 'charging scream'.

[SOUND:] Flat, dusty and loud impact of Dolores on the huge stone bricks.

ACT I / 2 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

[SOUND NOTICE: light echo of all the voices in the Aztec temple from ACT I / 2 to ACT I / 12]

El Professor (and Igor behind him) emerge by the breach.

EL PROFESSOR
Thank you, Dolores.

DOLORES (off)
No problemo, Professor.

ACT I / 3 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

[SLOW TRAVELLING LEFT TO RIGHT FOLLOWING:]

El Professor, Igor and Dolores enter the temple, some dust falls from the ceiling.

EL PROFESSOR
Great engineers, those Aztec people, but lousy housekeepers.
[To Dolores and Igor:]
As said before we should find here the tomb of Moctezuma the First, aztec emperor of the XVIth century.

ACT I / 4 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

[TRAVELLING FORWARD:]

EL PROFESSOR [CLOSE-UP, WHISPERING AS TELLING A SECRET]
They had the reputation of being tricky and cunning.
Don't touch anything unless I say so,
don't go anywhere unless I say so,
don't even breath unless I say so.
The place is certainly as booby trapped as my mother's cookbook.
Don't fool around. Just don't.
[To Igor:] Igor, what did I say?

IGOR
'Thank you, Dolores' ?

ACT I / 5 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

[WIDE ANGLE:] El Professor, Dolores and Igor are speaking standing just in front of what seems to be a huge statue barely seen in the shadows.

EL PROFESSOR [upset, to Igor:]
One day I'll loose what's left of my patience, jellyfish,
and I'll release my wrath upon you.

The eyes of the statue suddenly switch on: two creepy red-glowing eyes.

[SOUND:] Electronic, buzzing neon and magnetic engines switching on.

IGOR
I didn't do anything.

The 'statue' steps out of the shadows, it's in fact a seven-meters aztec robot mean-looking.

IGOR (smiling)
Maybe welcoming robot?

ROBOT
KILL INTRUDERS!

ACT I / 6 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

[BIRDVIEW SHOT:] El Professor, Dolores and Igor screaming.

ACT I / 7 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

The robot punches into the ground, the trio splits.

ROBOT
DESTROY TRESPASSERS!

[TRAVELLING:]

The robot chases Igor, punching columns and breaking statues.

IGOR
I didn't break the wall, she did!

ACT I / 8 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

El Professor and Dolores are safe, watching Igor going away in the dusty corridor chased by the crazy robot.

EL PROFESSOR (disappointed)
Dolores, save him: he has the keys of the car.

Dolores goes.

ACT I / 9 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

Igor still runs, out of breath.

ROBOT
KILL!

Dolores suddenly stands in the middle, proud and menacing attitude.
The robot stops and bends toward her, ready to squash the woman. They are now almost nose-to-nose.

DOLORES [to the robot]
When I'm done with you, you'll cry like a girl.

The red-glowing eyes of the robot become even more red, the magnetic neon buzzing pulse becomes louder.

ACT I / 10 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

El Professor, alone. Noises from the fights are heard, the temple shakes when strong punches are given,
dust is falling from the ceiling. It sounds like two King Kongs wrestling. Igor pops up, sweating.

IGOR [out of breath, trying to speak with his hands and trying to catch his breath, near fainting]
I... She... Head... Arms...

The sound of the fight suddenly stops.

[SOUND:] Heavy silence, noises from the jungle far away.

ACT I / 11 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

Dolores comes back, walking.

DOLORES
Done.

ACT I / 12 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

El Professor, Dolores and Igor, a huge and long corridor behind them with dark alcoves.

EL PROFESSOR [satisfied]
Good. Let's get rich now.

[SOUND:] Multiple of electronic and magnetic engines switching on.

[SLOW TRAVELLING FORWARD:] From the alcoves of the corridor an army of seven-meters robots emerges slowly.

ACT I / 13 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

[SLOW TRAVELLING FORWARD:] El Professor, Dolores and Igor.

EL PROFESSOR
Let's get rich later.

ACT I / 14 INSIDE AZTEC TEMPLE / DAYLIGHT

El Professor, Dolores and Igor flee, running toward the exit.

EL PROFESSOR (running)
I'm sick of this, let's go somewhere less crowded...

[FADE TO BLACK:]

EL PROFESSOR (off, cont.)
...Someplace peaceful.

[FADE TO:]

ACT I / 15 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Wide view on a peaceful graveyard.

[VERTICAL PAN DOWN ON:]

El Professor and Dolores are in front of the main gate, we can hear Igor grumping (off).

EL PROFESSOR
You can stop now, Igor, we are done.

ACT I / 16 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

El Professor’s car has no engine: it moves when Igor pedals and Igor was still pedalling very energetically on the car,
sweating a lot.

IGOR (catching his breath)
Thank you, master.

ACT I / 17 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

El Professor fingers at the gate, talking to Dolores.

EL PROFESSOR
The gate is closed, Dolores.

Dolores walks a few steps away, facing the gate: she starts behaving like corrida bull facing a matador,
growling and dribbling, breathing loudly.

EL PROFESSOR
Just the gate, my dear.

ACT I / 18 OUTSIDE/INSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

 [TRAVELLING:]

Dolores hurls herself at the gate like a cannonball, popping it off.
She is so powerful that she can’t stop and ends her trajectory into a mausoleum which collapses on her.

ACT I / 19 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[CLOSE UP:]

El Professor, snapping his fingers, Igor is standing up behind him.

EL PROFESSOR
Igor, get our stuffs.

ACT I / 20 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[TRAVELLING:]

El Professor, Dolores and Igor are walking among the tombs with flashlights.
Igor is carrying a very heavy bagpack (which makes him bend)
and a huge pick (he is the only one carrying something and walks behind).

EL PROFESSOR
We are not here, we are shadows.
We are like the ninjas of a Saturday’s movie.
Discretion is the motto. Invisibility, our way of life.

IGOR (figuring he has found a glitch in this logic)
If we are not here how can we...

EL POFESSOR
Shut up, dim-witted vegetable.
You give me the heebie-jeebies.

ACT I / 21 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

A nice Disney-looking cat is walking on the roof of a mausoleum. Unfortunately Igor sees it.

IGOR (in transe)
K-Kitty.

Igor becomes suddenly frenzy, shouting and trying to squash the cat with his shovel.
The cat flees between the graves, Igor follows.

[SOUND:] The shovel hitting ground and graves: BONG! BANG! BING!

IGOR (shouting, gone postal)
NAUGHTY KITTY! MEANY KITTY! BADY KITTY !

EL PROFESSOR
A cat lover, isn't he? Dolores, action.

Dolores grabs Igor by the hair, stopping him violently right in the middle of a jump.

DOLORES
El Professor said not to fool around, bozo.

IGOR (back from transe)
M’o.k. [=Mokay]

EL PROFESSOR (not friendly)
Behave like professionals: no more kitty business!
Look for Montoya's grave and be quiet this time!

IGOR
How quiet?

EL PROFESSOR
Quiet as a farting bat.

A very small bat passes slowly by them and farts: a very tiny small 'prt!'

IGOR
Oh. That quiet.

El Professor sighs, desperate.

ACT I / 22 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[VERTICAL PAN UP ON:]

Panoramic view of the graveyard.

EL PROFESSOR (off, satisfied)
In our professional line of work nothing's as efficient as a night shift. No one messing around...

[HUGE AND FRANTIC TRAVELLING REACHING THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CEMETERY, ENDS ON:]

ACT I / 23 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

The police is sneaking into the graveyard.
They are not realistic policemen, they look like the cops in the ‘Fifth Element’ movie: wearing huge & black outfits.
Only the leader doesn’t look like the others: Lieutenant Williams.
She is a gorgeous red-haired girl, as efficient as good-looking.
They act like ninjas: no word is said.
Williams gives orders making strange moves like a basketball coach: the team splits.

WILLIAMS
I’ll get you, Gilbert.

[CUT TO :]

ACT I / 24 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

El Professor is chilling on a grave, we can hear off-screen someone digging.

EL PROFESSOR (to Dolores and Igor)
Once we bring back from the dead the late president-for-life Montoya,
he'll tell us where is hidden all the money he has stolen before his death,
I'll get this money and I will pass on greater tasks than this gothic hobby…

IGOR (off)
The happiness of Humanity?

[FADE TO:]

ACT I / 25 OUTSIDE BEACH / DAYLIGHT

El Professor is wearing a swimsuit on a tropical beach sided by palmtrees,
one exotic woman is holding him a colourful cocktail (with a straw and a small umbrella),
one other is dancing some Tahiti choreography.
[Sound: Tahiti music]

[FADE BACK TO:]

ACT I / 26 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

 

EL PROFESSOR

Sort of. [lyrical:] Everything's possible because of my masterpiece,
the lifework of a genius, the magnificent chemical which brings back the dead: the Zombine™.

El Professor holds a pink glowing test-tube.

EL PROFESSOR (cont.)
It’s…

CREEPY VOICE (off, ridiculous)
I'm not Igor I'm the spirit of the mean people...

[CAMERA PAN TO :]

Igor is hiding (badly) behind a statue and is trying to speak with a creepy voice.

IGOR (cont.)
...and you are very naughty with Igor and you should...

El Professor casts a stone at Igor.

[SOUND: 'Ouch!' from Igor]

ACT I / 27 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

EL PROFESSOR
Brainless freak.

IGOR (off)
Yes, master.

El Professor notices the name of the tombstone he is on.

EL PROFESSOR
Hula Kalua! This is the grave of the evil general von Tolip!
He was one of the most terrible soldier of his time!
He made more damages than the spanish influenza!

ACT I / 28 OUTSIDE/INSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

El Professor [extra close-up, lighten from the bottom].

EL PROFESSOR (cont.)
A terrible curse was set upon him!
Fortunately the only way to wake up his horrible ghost is to eat a red apple on his grave
by a pale moonlight at midnight the first of april.

[THE CAMERA PANS VIOLENTLY ON:]

Igor is standing on von Tolip’s grave, he is about to bite in a red apple.
[SOUND:] On each shot a violent violin strike, going crescendo.

[THE CAMERA CLOSES VIOLENTLY ON:]

Igor bites the apple, a pale full moon is clearly seen behind him.
[Sound: the ‘crunch!’ on the apple and a howling wolf, far away.]

IGOR (chewing, noticing that everybody’s staring at him)
Whaf?

[SOUND:] Violin strike.

 

[VIOLENT TRAVELLING INTO:]

The undertaker’s home. A clock is hang on a wall, we see the big arrow switching on the big 12.
The clock starts to strike midnight.
[SOUND:] Violin strike.

[THE CAMERA PANS DOWN ON:]

An electronic calendar: The date switches from march, 31st. to april, 1st.
[SOUND:] Violin strike.

[VIOLENT TRAVELLING BACK ON:]

EL PROFESSOR (shouting)
NOOOOOOO!

[SOUND:] Violin going crazy.

ACT I / 29 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Von Tolip’s grave bursts open and von Tolip’s ghost pops out.

END ACT I.

 

ACT II / 1 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

The police officer Williams sneaks between the graves. Her in-com vomits statics and:

POLICEMAN 1 (off)
Lieutenant?

ACT II / 2 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Policeman 1 is hiding behind a tombstone, policeman 2 is next to him.
A creepy glow comes from the spot he is looking at. He is speaking to Williams in his in-com.

POLICEMAN 1 (cont.)
We’ve got a situation here.

A tombstone launched in the air (coming from the glowing spots) lands heavily on Policeman 2, squashing him.

ACT II / 3 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Policeman 1 was looking at von Tolip’s spot: A glowing maelstrom of wind and dust wrecks the place like a neon tornado.
Tombstones and crosses are dangerously cast all around.
We see El Professor, Dolores and Igor fleeing and seeking for cover.

ACT II / 4 INSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

The tornado calms down and while the dust goes down we meet the disoriented ghost of the evil general von Tolip.
He is out of breath (even if he’s ghost) and floating approximatively into the air.
Of course he has a very strong german accent.

VON TOLIP
Where am I? What is this place?

Von Tolip [close-up] when he realizes:

VON TOLIP (astonished)
W-Who am I?!

ACT II / 5 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

El Professor, Dolores and Igor are hiding behind a mausoleum.

[TRAVELLING CLOSING FORWARD ON:]

EL PROFESSOR (to himself)
He seems to have no memory! Maybe we are not that doomed after all…
Quick Gilbert, think fast!...

[PAN TO:]

DOLORES (whispering to Igor)
'Gilbert'?

[PAN TO:]

But Igor seems to be in the middle of a deep thinking. He is stupid so we know that trouble is ahead!

ACT II / 6 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Von Tolip wanders like a sad neo-romantic, the back of the hand on the front and the other on the heart.
Don't forget: very strong german accent.

VON TOLIP
I am alone in an hostile world, stranger with no loved one who…

Igor pops out of his hiding spot and addresses at von Tolip.

IGOR
Son, come to daddy!

[THE CAMERA PAN VIOLENTLY ON:]

EL PROFESSOR (astonished)
What?

[VIOLENT TRAVELLING INTO:]

POLICEMAN 1 (astonished too)
What?

[THE CAMERA PANS DOWN ON:]

POLICEMAN 2 (under the tombstone)
Hrg?

[VIOLENT TRAVELLING ON:]

WILLIAMS (talking in her in-com from the other side of the graveyard)
What’s going on? Talk to me!

[VIOLENT TRAVELLING BACK ON:]

EL PROFESSOR (still astonished)
What did he just said?

[THE CAMERA PANS VIOLENTLY BACK ON:]

IGOR (with a big smile)
Son, come to daddy!

[THE CAMERA PANS SLOWLY ON:]

VON TOLIP (with BIG Bambi-eyes).
D-Daddy?

Igor and von Tolip embrace together in each other’s arms IN SLOW MOTION
[SOUND:] climax of some idealistic classical music, very loud and cliché, full of violins.

ACT II / 7 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Igor turns to El Professor.

IGOR (proudly)
Igor did good, no?

ACT II / 8 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

EL PROFESSOR (to himself, slowly)
As smart as a stone. He has the brain of a pineapple.
He defies the basic laws of evolution. Unbelievable.

ACT II / 9 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Igor and von Tolip’s ghost are still in each other’s arms.

EL PROFESSOR (off)
At least it cannot get worst.

Policeman 1 pops out behind them.

POLICEMAN 1
Freeze!

ACT II / 10 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[CUT TO:]

[TRAVELLING:]

Williams runs among the tombs, talking in her in-com.

WILLIAMS
No! Don’t engage the targets!

ACT II / 11 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Policeman 1 popped out from behind a tombstone:
the nice Disney cat comes back and jumps on the tombstone, under the nose of Policeman 1
[We MUST recognize that it is the same cat].

DISNEY CAT
Maow?

IGOR (off)
BAD KITTY!

Igor’s shovel falls on Policeman 1's head, knocking him out, missing Disney cat who runs away.
[SOUND: ‘BONG’ of the shovel on the policeman’s head].

[PAN ON:]

Frantic, Igor is chasing the cat, trying to squash him with the shovel,
decapitating statues and breaking tombstones during the chase.

IGOR
BAD CAT! BAD! BAD! BAD!

ACT II / 12 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

El Professor, Dolores and von Tolip, astonished, mouths opened?

EL PROFESSOR
I'm dreaming and I'm going to wake up. Dolores: do pinch me, darling.

Dolores just moves one arm: a powerful punch casts El Professor away.

[PAN TO:]

El Professor landed in the arms of the statue Igor was trying to hide behind.

EL PROFESSOR (hurt)
Let's call it a day. Back to base. (fainting:) Ready my shiiiiiip.

ACT II / 13 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

Dolores seizes El Professor and casts him on her back. The Disney cat passes by, running.
Dolores tends her arm and catches Igor again by the hair as he emerges, stopping him the same way.

DOLORES
Back to base, lousy worm.

VON TOLIP (happy to see Igor again)
Daddy!

[SOUND:] Police whistle (off screen)

POLICEMAN 3 (off)
Police, freeze!

ACT II / 14 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

DOLORES
Gendarmes.

Dolores starts running with El Professor on her back, still holding Igor by the hair and von Tolip following, flying.

ACT II / 15 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[CLOSE UP ON:]

El Professor regains consciousness.

EL PROFESSOR
Momy?

ACT II / 16 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[SUBJECTIVE SHAKING VIEW OF EL PROFESSOR, TRAVELLING BACKWARD ON:]

A bunch of policemen, Williams leading, are chasing our heroes between the tombs.

WILLIAMS
Get back here, Gilbert!

ACT II / 17 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[SAME AS ACT II / 15] El Professor raising his fist.

EL PROFESSOR
Don’t call me that, civil servant!

ACT II / 18 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

The cemetery entrance is still wide open.
Instead of making a one meter detour Dolores goes right ahead and passes through the cemetery wall.

ACT II / 19 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

The Police bunch reaches the hole made by Dolores.

ACT II / 20 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[SUBJECTIVE VIEW OF POLICEMEN ON EL PROFESSOR'S CAR THROUGH THE HOLE, TRAVELLING SLOWLY FORWARD ON:]

The car flees, already unreachable, as Igor pedals with von Tolip's ghost flying above and glowing in the night.

ACT II / 21 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[SAME AS ACT II / 19]

WILLIAMS (whispering)
I'll get you again next time, Gilbert.

ACT II / 22 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

[CONTINUATION OF ACT II / 20]

EL PROFESSOR (shouting from faaaaar away]
Don't call me that!

[FADE TO:]

ACT II / 23 OUTSIDE CEMETERY / MOONLIGHT

View of the deserted graveyard. Suddenly the graves seems to be lighten one after the other from beneath as if a subway was running just there. The light spreads between the tombstones and the tomb. It’s coming toward the camera.

 [VERTICAL PAN DOWN ON:]

ACT II / 24 INSIDE TUNNEL / FLASHLIGHTS

Like the transition in the fisrt ‘Highlander’ movie the camera goes underground. El Professor, Dolores and Igor are in board of a digging machine, making a tunnel. Igor pedals to move the machine, Dolores pilots, El Professor is checking his laptop computer. The three of them are wearing mining helmets with flashlights in front.

[SOUND:] Very noisy digging, grimpy mechanics.

DOLORES (shouting to cover the noise)
Are we deep enough?

A coffin falls from above on Igor’s head. El Professor look back at the tunnel.

ACT II / 25 INSIDE TUNNEL / FLASHLIGHTS

Coffins have fallen here and there from the ceiling of the tunnel too close to the graves above.

ACT II / 26 INSIDE TUNNEL / FLASHLIGHTS

EL PROFESSOR (still staring at the tunnel, shouting to cover the noise)
A little bit deeper indeed, sweetheart.

The digging machine hits something.

ACT II / 26 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

The wide mausoleum is mainly underground, some stairs lead to the surface exit. The digging machine bursts through one of the walls.

ACT II / 27 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

Dolores has a look carefully from the break in the wall.

DOLORES
Clear.

[TRAVELLING BACK, ANTVIEW SHOT:]

The trio enters the mausoleum, El Professor displays a conquistador attitude: like Cortes stepping for the first time on a south american beach.

EL PROFESSOR
Back in business.

ACT II / 28 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

El Professor, Dolores and Igor are surrounding the tomb, in fact Igor is sitting on it, Dolores carries El Professor’s bag.

EL PROFESSOR
Open up, dark companions!

Dolores puts the back on the tombstone in front of Igor who opens it and take out a crowbar. He gives it to Dolores.
With one strike she moves the tombstone aside with Igor still sitting on top of it.

ACT II / 29 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

EL PROFESSOR
Friends, let me introduce el presidente Montoya.

ACT II / 30 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

Dolores and Igor bend toward the dark open tomb to have a look.

EL PROFESSOR
Congratulations, Igor, you did a good job fiding the tomb.

IGOR
Thank you, master!

[VERTICAL PAN DOWN ON:]

EL PROFESSOR (off)
Let’s bring back Montoya and get rich.

On the side of the tomb is written: MOYTONA.

[SOUND:] Creepy music going crescendo!

[FADE ON:]

ACT II / 31 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

El Professor takes out carefully from his bag a pink-glowing water-spray.

EL PROFESSOR
Carry on.

El Professor starts spraying the Zombine™ on Moytona mistaken for Montoya. The mausoleum is lighten in pink by the increasing glow from the tomb. The trio steps back, back to wall.

[SOUND:] Creepy sounds from the tomb.

EL PROFESSOR (whispering)
The Zombine™ used to be green. Too creepy.
I made it pink. It spreads an happy mood.

ACT II / 32 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

Moytona slowly raises, back from the dead. It’s a woman.

ACT II / 33 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

EL PROFESSOR
Who are you?!


ACT II / 34 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

Moytona is still sitting in her tomb.

MOYTONA
Who are YOU? And what are you doing in my bedroom?
[she notices she is in a tomb:]
Oh my God! I’m dead! I’m dead!
[She points at the trio:]
You are the grimreapers and you want to get my soul!

ACT II / 35 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

El Professor doesn’t pay attention to her anymore. He has found the writing on the grave: MOYTONA.

EL PROFESSOR
Igor! I told you to find MONTOYA’s grave, not MOYTONA’s.

IGOR
I thought they misspelled it.

EL PROFESSOR (furious)
MISSPELLED?!

MOYTONA (off)
I don’t want to die! I’m not even married!
I need more time! Take someone else!

[PAN ON:] Moytona crying, El Professor.

EL PROFESSOR
Quiet, woman!
You are not dead anyway!
Not anymore.

MOYTONA
What?

EL PROFESSOR [upset, to Igor]
Montoya is a man.
Can you pinpoint the difference, peabrain?

ACT II / 36 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

IGOR (happy)
I can fix it!

Igor jumps back on the tombstone and seize the Zombine™-spray.
Before El Professor can say anything Igor sprays a strong dose of the pink-glowing chemical in Moytona’s face.

ACT II / 37 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

[CLOSE UP:] El Professor.

EL PROFESSOR
NO!

ACT II / 38 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

Igor still sitting on the tombstone, Moytona is behind him, unseen.

IGOR (surprised)
You said that when Zombine™ is used twice
man becomes woman and woman becomes man.

El Professor enters frame.

EL PROFESSOR (upset)
But it won’t turn Moytona into Montoya!

IGOR
Oh.
That’s a downside.

[SOUND:] a creepy loud noise is heard: Moytona is changing.

[TRAVELLING FORWARD BETWEEN EL PROFESSOR AND IGOR TO:]

Moytona is now a man, looking strange and surprised in those too-small woman clothes.

ACT II / 39 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

[CLOSE UP:] El Professor.

EL PROFESSOR (tired)
They also loose all memories.

ACT II / 40 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

[CONTINUATION OF ACT II / 38]

[CLOSE UP:] Amnesiac Moytona.

MOYTONA
Who are you? And what are you doing in my bedroom?
[he notices he is in a tomb:]
Oh my God! I’m dead! I’m dead!
[he points at the trio:]
You are the grimreapers and you want to get my soul!


Igor enters frame and spray again Zombine™ on Moytona’s face. Moytona starts to change back.

[SOUND:] a creepy loud noise is heard: Moytona is changing back.

EL PROFESSOR (off)
Igor!

ACT II / 41 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

[CLOSE UP:] El Professor.

EL PROFESSOR  (cont.)
Will you stop!

IGOR (surprised, off)
What?

ACT II / 42 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

[CLOSE UP:] Igor.

IGOR (cont.)
Igor changes back he into she.

El Professor enters frame.

EL PROFESSOR (upset)
She’ll remain amnesiac anyway, you idiot!

IGOR
Oh.
That’s a downside.

DOLORES (off)
I can get rid of the hunchback if you want…

 [TRAVELLING FORWARD BETWEEN EL PROFESSOR AND IGOR TO:]

Moytona is a woman again, still no memory.

MOYTONA
Who are you? And what are you doing in my bedroom?
[she notices she is in a tomb:]
Oh my God! I’m dead! I’m dead!
[She points at the trio:]
You are the grimreapers and you want to get my soul!

ACT II / 43 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

El Professor heads to the digging machine.

EL PROFESSOR (exhausted)
I’m tired. Let’s go home.

Slowly Dolores gets the spray and Igor the bag. They jump on the machine which withdraw in the tunnel.

EL PROFESSOR (very tired, off)
We’ll stop to buy some pizza.

ACT II / 44 INSIDE MAUSOLEUM / FLASHLIGHTS

Moytona is left alone amnesiac and sitting in her grave.

MOYTONA
Hello?

 [VERTICAL PAN UP OUSIDE ON:]

The pale full moon.
The very small bat passes slowly by again and farts again a very tiny small 'prt!'

[FADE OUT]

CREDITS

END

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